Apostrophe Catastrophe

Please bear with me people — it’s about to get intensely pedantic and crotchety here on the old Regensblog.

It seems the whole of Germany doesn’t know what to do with this character:

It’s an apostrophe. Germans have their own name for it — Hochkomma — which would be perfectly fine, if only they would use it. But they steadfastly refuse to, preferring instead to place an accent (grave or aigu; they are not picky about symbols they do not understand) over an invisible character.

It cannot be the result of software, like MS Word or even WordPress, silently correcting the well-intentioned placement of a typewriter-style apostrophe into a typographer’s apostrophe. If anything, I wonder if it’s the nature of the beast, refusing to settle for a utilitarian approximation of the curlier, anglier version, or being confused by the impossible-to-reproduce-at-home quotation conventions one reads in printed literary works:

  • „…“
  • ‚…‘
  • »…«
  • ›…‹

Add in an utter lack of comprehension (or, let’s be generous and say disregard) of the rules for denoting plurals and possessives in my increasingly-less foreign native language, and this monstrosity is the result.

Oh, you’ve never noticed typographical abuse like that before? Well, try not to let it ruin your life in Germany. I’m sure you’re attenuated to it now, and for that I am superficially sorry.

Mit viel Schadenfreude,
cliff1976

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