good riddance to a lousy week

Man, am I glad this week is over with.

Monday

Actually seemed OK. But it was still a Monday.

Tuesday

Realized I lost my wallet (or that it got taken). Panicked. Rode my bike in the pouring rain up and down my usual route to/from the office (it’s complicated, because my route is really more of a loop and I ride up one side of the street and down the other). Got soaked to the skin. Called and blocked various cards and memberships. Visited the local police office to report my wallet missing (which was surprisingly pleasant; thanks Officer Dingenskirchen!). Misread the bus schedule and got a little lost on the way out to my bank to cancel my ATM card and request a new one.

Wednesday

Bike crapped out on me on my way home. Probable cause: chain needs oiling after spending those two hours out on the rain hunting for my wallet along the bike path on Tuesday.

Thursday

Was also OK, aside from work being work and having to take the bus while my bike awaits its lube job.

Friday

Got bit by a dog, which only could have happened because I was on foot, because my bike was unusable, because of being out in the rain, because of having lost my wallet. Got hijacked into a meeting that had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with me or even anything related to me. I’ll never get those two hours back.

More on the dog bite:

I was walking along toward the bus stop on Friday morning minding my own business, when I noticed the little white yappy dog who lives to harass passers-by at Italy Schuhe & Mode outside the Müller bakery. It was on a leash, but its mommy was inside the Müller bakery. Mommy came out and crossed the street toward her store (the aforementioned Italy Schuhe & Mode) just as I was walking past Yappy. Yappy didn’t like that, apparently, and bit me. I yelled in surprise, which got Mommy’s attention, who beckoned Yappy to her side. I didn’t feel anything but a slight tugging, but after a few steps further I felt a little draft down below. I looked and saw the hole and yelled to Mommy that I would require monetary compensation for the damage to my pants. She kept walking away from me, so I followed her into the vestibule of her store.

Cliff:

“Your dog bit me and ripped a hole in my pants.”

Mommy:

“I don’t believe that. He doesn’t bite.”

C:

“Well, he just did. Look at this hole.”

M:

“How do I know that he caused that? Maybe the hole was there before?”

C:

“No, your dog did it.”

M:

“You must have kicked him or something.”

C:

“I didn’t kick him. I see this dog every day. That’s why I was so surprised when he bit me.”

M:

“We can discuss this after I open the store. Come back at 10:30.”

C:

“I have an office job. I have to go to work.”

M:

“OK, come back at 18:30 and we can discuss it then.”


So, I did. In fact, I came back early due to the completely boring meeting trap I fell into Friday afternoon. When I got there, it was a similar story, but even weirder.

Mommy:

“Hello, what we can do for you?”

Cliff:

“Your dog did this.” [pointing at the hole in my pant leg]

M:

“Ach ja. That is so strange. There must have been some misunderstanding between you and the dog.”

C:

“You got that right. I don’t understand why he bit me, but he did.”

M:

“But he really doesn’t bite!”

C:

“Do you mean to tell me he ripped this hole in my pants with a pair of scissors?”

M:

“Well, I called my insurance company and they will require the pants and a receipt showing how much they cost.”

C:

“They cost at least €25. I don’t have a recept for them; I bought them several months ago.”

M:

“The insurance company won’t reimburse me without a proof of how much they cost.”

C:

“I’ll take off my pants and give them to you right now, but I don’t have a receipt. I am an American. I bought them in the United States months ago. Give me the money you owe me, or I’ll go to the police. And if I were that baker, I’d have a serious problem with your dog biting my customers.”

M:

“Wait – what do you want from me?” [Personally, I thought it was obvious.] “You can give me a written statement with your name and address affirming how much you paid for them.”

C:

“Fine, I’ll be back in 15 minutes with a statement and the pants.”

20 minutes later…

C:

“Here’s the statement and here are the pants.”

M:

[reading my statement] “This looks good. I’ll be in touch.”

C:

“You mean you’re not going to give me the money in cash!?”

M:

“Of course not; I want the insurance company to pay for this.” [Seeing my rage level rise] “But don’t worry, you’ll get the money either from me or from them, no matter what.”

At this point, I put my banking info on the statement and walked out in disgust.

Had this character even once uttered a simple “Sorry my dog bit you,” I might have been satisfied with that. I am still considering whether to go to the police (twice in a week, not really appealing) and make a report. The dog’s behavior was uncalled for, but Mommy’s is ridiculous. Maybe my statement, regardless of whether I get the €25 back or not, will get some appropriate action taken against that dog and its owner. I think I’ll wait until after I get my money though.

8 thoughts on “good riddance to a lousy week”

  1. Cliff

    Oh, by the way: Saturday ain’t tons better, so far. I bought an MD player for Sarah’s birthday on eBay and it arrived today. Works great, but doesn’t have a mic input jack on it. The description (on Amazon and on eBay in the item itself) calls it a “Portable MiniDisc Recorder” — am I a schmuck for not realizing this doesn’t (necessarily) mean you can plug a microphone into it?

    Guess I’ll be cutting my teeth at selling stuff on eBay now. Dang it!

  2. Tammy

    Sorry about your week! That sounds rough. What a nut-job that lady is. It is such a typical asshole-German response. “Oh, did I just step on your face? I didn’t realize! You must be mistaken.” At least you could fight back with her (in German(. I think I would have just screamed and walked out of the store – I don’t do German well when I am angry.

  3. Carolyn

    Sorry dude, but it’s hard not to laugh at that story. What a crapola week! Hope the next is better for you.

  4. H-bomb

    I am so sorry about your week.

    I had a crappy Wednesday…left my purse (with my wallet in it) at home and didn’t realize it until I pulled into the gas station on FUMES. Luckily had enough gas to get to work (LATE). Had to have my former husband come to my work and give me $10 so I could buy lunch. Spilled water across the table and my co-worker at said lunch. Changed my clothes for that night’s Pistons game and realized I brought a brown belt with my black shirt, socks and shoes (okay, that one’s not so horrible). Had Tara bring my purse after work since she was going to the game with me. Got to the Palace (late AGAIN), went to buy a $8 beer to help me forget my day and realized I too had lost my wallet. Now in tears, begged and pleaded with Palace security to let me go out and see if my wallet was somehow left in the car. Found it in between the seat and the door, put the keys in the ignition and went home. Had I stayed the Pistons would have lost anyway. Jeez. Was there something in the stars last week that I didn’t know about?

  5. Mom

    Oh, my gosh. If it is any help at all, we had hoped to Skype on Sunday but never found you on-line. We had our own difficulties but were thinking about you. Maybe Heather is right and the stars were just not aligned for us all.
    Can we help you with any of the wallet stuff?
    Is that the dog I have a photo of walking himself?
    It was a rotten week but a great story. I enjoyed the laugh, although I’m sorry you had to go through it. (Snork)

  6. Pops

    Sounds like a Peter Sellers “Pink Panther” skit. Maybe you should have offered to kick the dog so you’d at least be even. Or ask her to turn around when you kicked the dog so she wouldn’t be able to tell who kicked it and then you could say, “It’s not like me to kick dogs.”

    BTW, are those the new pants we bought for you? Do you want a note from your Mom?

  7. Cliff

    Thanks guys, I don’t think there’s anything you could have helped with regarding the wallet. Most of what I lost was a little cash and some food coupons for use at work (annoying, but not tragic) and meaningless receipts.

    I only lost a few credit cards, and I cancelled them immediately. I’m going to head to the city Lost and Found office at the Neues Rathaus on Dachauplatz this week and see if anyone turned it in there.

    Note to anyone: if you want to Skype me or Sarah, you’d best give us a little advanced warning — we’re not logged in to Skype very much, but if you let us know a few minutes ahead of time via email, we’ll be happy to log in for you.

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